“Every time I thought I was being rejected from something good, I was actually being re-directed to something better.” ~ Dr. Steve Maraboli
I understand why rejection hurts so bad when you are really interested in a guy and you find out that he is not interested back. That’s a shitty feeling. You start questioning everything about yourself. Am I not pretty enough? Did I say something wrong? Does he not like where I am in my career? Etc. etc.
The thing I am struggling to understand is why rejection still stings so bad even when you may not be that into a guy or are still trying to decide. Let me explain…
I went on 5 dates with a guy recently. He wasn’t someone that I would naturally be attracted to, but at the same time he had a cute smile and personality which made him attractive to me. When I first met him we had great conversation and I enjoyed the places that we went to on our first dates. Yet, I’ll be honest that something in me was questioning whether I was that into him. I thought about it several times and I came to the conclusion that I think I was just scared to date again. He seemed to be very into me and that scared me. I didn’t know if I was ready for a relationship. I had just wrapped my head around the idea of dating again. But, I decided I wasn’t going to lose out on what seemed to be a great guy who was interested in ME so I moved forward.
After the fifth date which was this past Wednesday he kissed me goodbye several times and kept talking about how he wanted to do something on Saturday with me. Well, Thursday passed, Friday passed, and then this Saturday came. Around 11AM and I had heard nothing from him. Very unlike him as he was usually texting me nonstop- almost to the point where I made a joke to one of my friends about how he seemed like the needy girl in the relationship. I decided to just shoot him a text and simply said “hey.”
It wasn’t until about 30 minutes later that I received a text back from him saying he had been thinking the past few days and knew we had plans to hang out but that he didn’t think we should continue dating. He said I was a sweet girl but that he didn’t feel a strong connection.
Rejection….rejection by someone I didn’t even know for sure if I was into yet. How does it still sting so bad and stir up so many emotions?
I don’t know anybody that likes to feel rejected. At least I can’t think of anyone that does. Again, my mind started thinking, “What did I do wrong? What did he not like about me?” But, truth be told, asking myself all of those questions is complete bullshit because I am who I am and if he didn’t like me for me than I wouldn’t and shouldn’t have to change for someone. And I keep trying to tell myself that. And for anyone else that has been in a rejection situation…you need to tell yourself the same.
My second reaction to the rejection was confusion. He seemed so into me on Wednesday which was the last time I saw him before I got the “rejection text.” Honestly he couldn’t keep his hands off of me. All I can think now is “thank God I did not sleep with him”. How much harder would this rejection be if I did? I’m not going to lie though, it has crossed my mind that maybe he got tired of waiting and that’s part of the reason why he didn’t want to see me anymore? But, once again, I have to remind myself, if that’s the case then he doesn’t deserve me!
My third reaction to the whole situation was that I was just pissed off. I had spent my Friday night cleaning my place so that it would be nice when he came over on Saturday. I turned down Friday plans to clean. So that ruined my Friday night out and then because I didn’t find out until I texted him on Saturday, then I didn’t have any plans that day/night either. I felt like the least he could have done is give me a sooner heads up. But, instead he waited for me to text him? What if I wouldn’t have texted him? When would I have heard from him? Who knows?
I don’t think rejection will ever get any easier no matter what the situation is in life- be it a relationship, job interview, etc. All of the thoughts are still running through my head and they probably will for a little while. I think that’s natural. But, eventually, it’s just having the will to hold your head high and say, I will not let this affect me and believing something better is on the way. Ultimately I wasn’t really feeling it either and maybe there is a reason why. And who knows, maybe he even felt that? So, here’s hoping there is something better on the way! Cheers!